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The Disappearance of the Universe
About one month ago and yes I will be honest and bold in admitting here on the internet, that I ingested what I will call a personal medicine. I did it alone late at night in the hopes I could get some perspective on where my life was going as I was feeling a bit energetically and mentally stuck. I remember Jerry Garcia was interviewed one time and asked if he still used certain medicines. He replied that he liked visiting the goddess of fungus from time to time because it helped him “Blowout the Pipes” I wanted to blow out my own pipes like Jerry LOL!
Anyway, I was not prepared for the experience I had. My perception of life and the entire universe was completely shifted, or, perhaps a better description would be “turned upside down.” I have ingested many types of medicines in various doses over the years, but never have I experienced anything like this. My entire body was illuminated as was everything within my field of vision. It was a bit overwhelming to keep my eyes open so I closed them and decided to go inside for a journey. I guess you could call it a journey, although I did not go anywhere. My attention was on staying in present time which, amazingly enough, was incredibly easy to do unlike other more VISUAL medicines where you can get easily distracted and amused. I perceived myself as being in an illuminated circle or bubble. It was so blissful and timeless that I forgot I had a body. Suddenly, I found myself in my body and opened my eyes, it was like awakening from a dream, but then I closed my eyes again and found it easy to return to my bubble. What was interesting was it was like going through a portal where everything went blurry but then came into focus. I started oscillating back and forth between that bubble and my body and found it to be somewhat amusing. But, as I continued doing this, I started to perceive things much differently than I ever have. I started comparing my physical existence to my present moment bubble, having all of these revelations about space, time, the Earth, everyone on the earth, my friends, my family, politicians, the economy, countries, etc etc…. Here is what was interesting. Every time I would re enter my body, I would see more and more clearly how I was connected to the entire universe and my interpersonal relationship with it. Interestingly enough compared to my present moment bubble the universe did not seem like a very nice place. I could feel my body’s constant hunger for food, for love, for attention, basic never ending survival maintenance. Extended outward I could see how the entire universe was a hungry entity as well, requiring never ending maintenance and attention. HUH? I thought…… Why would God create such a hungry insatiable beast? It got a bit overwhelming for me so I happily returned to my present time bubble. Here there was no hunger or need for maintenance. It was all taken care of here. “Interesting” I thought! Soon I was back in my body and I began to further contemplate my incarnation on this planet. I could see very clearly without a doubt that everything in the external universe was a big projection. Literally, just like a movie projecting on a big 3 dimensional canvass or screen! None of it was real!
I then went into a shadow aspect of my life and began processing many of my fears. What I experienced was astonishing! Every time a fear would come into my awareness I would say, “I forgive you” and the image of the fear would vanish. One fear after another fear came again and again and I repeated this process until I found myself going beyond my personal fears and into the “collective” fears of the human family. What I saw here completely turned my perception of the universe upside down. I saw how almost our entire global economy and exchange of information is based on the premise of scarcity, fear of being abandoned, fear of criticism, fear of death, and the list goes on and on. It all comes down to the human unconscious belief in “lack of” Wow, so all this stuff I think I need is really just a symbol of my belief in scarcity, fear of judgment, fear of being alone or abandoned? HOLY SHIT! Then what is this world but a hungry insatiable beast & literally a projection of these unconscious beliefs? This as you can imagine was pretty unsettling as years of programming were being undone in an instant in my mind, but, just as I forgave my own fears, so to I began the process of forgiving all of these collective fears present in my own field of awareness. What followed was truly amazing. Through all of this I realized something that has since become a fundamental truth for me as a spiritual being in this world. Very simply, whatever you do not fear cannot hurt you. There is nothing in this universe that has any real power of its own, you are the one who animates it all and makes it real. We are all doing this collectively of course. I then started playing out different scenarios in my mind of the most common fears people have and how entire world economies depend on them to sustain themselves. What a scam! I thought! I then retreated back to my Present time bubble and could perceive all of these unconscious fears trying to follow me into this space. They we like energy bubbles shaped like teardrops all parading around me trying to get my attention. They would appear as things very familiar to me. As I sat in my bubble I could see a few of them trying to breach my bubble’s wall. A few of them did and as I examined them closely I could see they were my own unconscious fears. As they approached me I said, “I am not afraid of you, you are pure illusion”. They instantly dissolved and got pushed out my bubble. One after another came through and I repeated the process for each one until I was just left sitting there feeling totally @ peace and provided for. There was nothing I had to do, nothing to prove, no errands to run, nothing to maintain, nothing to hide. Suddenly, one of my favorite Taoist passages made perfect sense to me in that moment…………
“By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
Wherein he does nothing, but leaves nothing undone.
To conquer the World, do nothing;
If you must do something,
The World remains beyond conquest.”
It then dawned on me, a thought I once considered almost blasphemous to even consider. Perhaps God did not create this world. God to me is Love, and Love seems very lacking in this world. Suddenly I saw images of all of the Wars this planet has seen, all of the conflict and ugliness that has played itself out over the span of our existence all rolled into a single perception. I thought of all of the times I would get angry at God for allowing such terrible thing s to happen. It did not make any sense to me. If God created this world he seems to not really give a shit about it! Often times I have had these thoughts, more often than I care to know. Wow, what if this universe is just a big projection of something very dark within our collective unconscious? Is anyone truly happy in this world? If so I would sure like to take that person’s seminar! Really! I need to be honest here. To many of you reading this I know I must sound like I am just looking at everything through a negative lens. Yes there are countless beautiful things in this universe and yes there is love, but what I experienced I cannot just dismiss.
Ok, now here begins the second part of my adventure and the next step into my new perception of the universe. Not more than maybe 3 days after having this experience I found myself checking my email. As I was deleting some spam I noticed a press release from Hay House publishing company. (Hay House is a large company that publishes books on spirituality) I normally do not open spam messages but something told me to “check it out” What I saw was an advertisement for a book called “The disappearance of the Universe” by Gary Renard. The title was intriguing to me considering what I had experienced just a few days prior. A feeing came over me & without hesitation I clicked the “BUY” button. This is unusual for me as I am not an impulsive person when it comes to buying stuff. Something just felt right about it so I felt good about the purchase. Maybe 5 days later a package arrived and my wife signed for it. She brought it to me and I immediately opened it. It was the book! I instantly started reading it and could and could not put it down! The book is the account of The Author, Gary Renard, and his experience of being visited by two ascended masters that began a process of teaching him about the nature of the universe and God. As I read the first few chapters I was simply floored! I grabbed my highlighter pen and began highlighting passages on almost every page. Basically, everything I read in this book validated every aspect of my experience. The two ascended masters basically told Gary very simply and point blank that the universe just is a giant multi dimensional projection of our unconscious fears and guilt. Furthermore the conflict that we see in the world is just a symbol of us collectively trying to cope with the guilt of the initial “separation” we experienced from God eons ago. God did not create this world they said, the EGO mind created it within the larger mind of God, the ego being symbolic of the desire to be individual and apart from God which is, as they implied, “impossible”. This of course suggests that the universe is an illusion and that we never really left God at all. We are simply having a collective ego nightmare for which God is in the process of gently waking us up.
Well, this was a bit much for me to digest as you can imagine. After years of believing that God did create the universe and that perhaps just the Earth was screwed up, and that God was just “testing “ us to see how well we would make use of our gift of free will, well, all that was now shattered. I could not negate what I experienced directly in favor of an old belief for which I had no backing.
Take this all in as you will, it is my own experience and I am not asking anyone to invest in it. My motive is to just share that perhaps you may find a nugget of truth for your self.
Onward we go, pealing off layers of illusion. Freedom is my goal, and Love is my guide……..
Jeffe
About one month ago and yes I will be honest and bold in admitting here on the internet, that I ingested what I will call a personal medicine. I did it alone late at night in the hopes I could get some perspective on where my life was going as I was feeling a bit energetically and mentally stuck. I remember Jerry Garcia was interviewed one time and asked if he still used certain medicines. He replied that he liked visiting the goddess of fungus from time to time because it helped him “Blowout the Pipes” I wanted to blow out my own pipes like Jerry LOL!
Anyway, I was not prepared for the experience I had. My perception of life and the entire universe was completely shifted, or, perhaps a better description would be “turned upside down.” I have ingested many types of medicines in various doses over the years, but never have I experienced anything like this. My entire body was illuminated as was everything within my field of vision. It was a bit overwhelming to keep my eyes open so I closed them and decided to go inside for a journey. I guess you could call it a journey, although I did not go anywhere. My attention was on staying in present time which, amazingly enough, was incredibly easy to do unlike other more VISUAL medicines where you can get easily distracted and amused. I perceived myself as being in an illuminated circle or bubble. It was so blissful and timeless that I forgot I had a body. Suddenly, I found myself in my body and opened my eyes, it was like awakening from a dream, but then I closed my eyes again and found it easy to return to my bubble. What was interesting was it was like going through a portal where everything went blurry but then came into focus. I started oscillating back and forth between that bubble and my body and found it to be somewhat amusing. But, as I continued doing this, I started to perceive things much differently than I ever have. I started comparing my physical existence to my present moment bubble, having all of these revelations about space, time, the Earth, everyone on the earth, my friends, my family, politicians, the economy, countries, etc etc…. Here is what was interesting. Every time I would re enter my body, I would see more and more clearly how I was connected to the entire universe and my interpersonal relationship with it. Interestingly enough compared to my present moment bubble the universe did not seem like a very nice place. I could feel my body’s constant hunger for food, for love, for attention, basic never ending survival maintenance. Extended outward I could see how the entire universe was a hungry entity as well, requiring never ending maintenance and attention. HUH? I thought…… Why would God create such a hungry insatiable beast? It got a bit overwhelming for me so I happily returned to my present time bubble. Here there was no hunger or need for maintenance. It was all taken care of here. “Interesting” I thought! Soon I was back in my body and I began to further contemplate my incarnation on this planet. I could see very clearly without a doubt that everything in the external universe was a big projection. Literally, just like a movie projecting on a big 3 dimensional canvass or screen! None of it was real!
I then went into a shadow aspect of my life and began processing many of my fears. What I experienced was astonishing! Every time a fear would come into my awareness I would say, “I forgive you” and the image of the fear would vanish. One fear after another fear came again and again and I repeated this process until I found myself going beyond my personal fears and into the “collective” fears of the human family. What I saw here completely turned my perception of the universe upside down. I saw how almost our entire global economy and exchange of information is based on the premise of scarcity, fear of being abandoned, fear of criticism, fear of death, and the list goes on and on. It all comes down to the human unconscious belief in “lack of” Wow, so all this stuff I think I need is really just a symbol of my belief in scarcity, fear of judgment, fear of being alone or abandoned? HOLY SHIT! Then what is this world but a hungry insatiable beast & literally a projection of these unconscious beliefs? This as you can imagine was pretty unsettling as years of programming were being undone in an instant in my mind, but, just as I forgave my own fears, so to I began the process of forgiving all of these collective fears present in my own field of awareness. What followed was truly amazing. Through all of this I realized something that has since become a fundamental truth for me as a spiritual being in this world. Very simply, whatever you do not fear cannot hurt you. There is nothing in this universe that has any real power of its own, you are the one who animates it all and makes it real. We are all doing this collectively of course. I then started playing out different scenarios in my mind of the most common fears people have and how entire world economies depend on them to sustain themselves. What a scam! I thought! I then retreated back to my Present time bubble and could perceive all of these unconscious fears trying to follow me into this space. They we like energy bubbles shaped like teardrops all parading around me trying to get my attention. They would appear as things very familiar to me. As I sat in my bubble I could see a few of them trying to breach my bubble’s wall. A few of them did and as I examined them closely I could see they were my own unconscious fears. As they approached me I said, “I am not afraid of you, you are pure illusion”. They instantly dissolved and got pushed out my bubble. One after another came through and I repeated the process for each one until I was just left sitting there feeling totally @ peace and provided for. There was nothing I had to do, nothing to prove, no errands to run, nothing to maintain, nothing to hide. Suddenly, one of my favorite Taoist passages made perfect sense to me in that moment…………
“By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
Wherein he does nothing, but leaves nothing undone.
To conquer the World, do nothing;
If you must do something,
The World remains beyond conquest.”
It then dawned on me, a thought I once considered almost blasphemous to even consider. Perhaps God did not create this world. God to me is Love, and Love seems very lacking in this world. Suddenly I saw images of all of the Wars this planet has seen, all of the conflict and ugliness that has played itself out over the span of our existence all rolled into a single perception. I thought of all of the times I would get angry at God for allowing such terrible thing s to happen. It did not make any sense to me. If God created this world he seems to not really give a shit about it! Often times I have had these thoughts, more often than I care to know. Wow, what if this universe is just a big projection of something very dark within our collective unconscious? Is anyone truly happy in this world? If so I would sure like to take that person’s seminar! Really! I need to be honest here. To many of you reading this I know I must sound like I am just looking at everything through a negative lens. Yes there are countless beautiful things in this universe and yes there is love, but what I experienced I cannot just dismiss.
Ok, now here begins the second part of my adventure and the next step into my new perception of the universe. Not more than maybe 3 days after having this experience I found myself checking my email. As I was deleting some spam I noticed a press release from Hay House publishing company. (Hay House is a large company that publishes books on spirituality) I normally do not open spam messages but something told me to “check it out” What I saw was an advertisement for a book called “The disappearance of the Universe” by Gary Renard. The title was intriguing to me considering what I had experienced just a few days prior. A feeing came over me & without hesitation I clicked the “BUY” button. This is unusual for me as I am not an impulsive person when it comes to buying stuff. Something just felt right about it so I felt good about the purchase. Maybe 5 days later a package arrived and my wife signed for it. She brought it to me and I immediately opened it. It was the book! I instantly started reading it and could and could not put it down! The book is the account of The Author, Gary Renard, and his experience of being visited by two ascended masters that began a process of teaching him about the nature of the universe and God. As I read the first few chapters I was simply floored! I grabbed my highlighter pen and began highlighting passages on almost every page. Basically, everything I read in this book validated every aspect of my experience. The two ascended masters basically told Gary very simply and point blank that the universe just is a giant multi dimensional projection of our unconscious fears and guilt. Furthermore the conflict that we see in the world is just a symbol of us collectively trying to cope with the guilt of the initial “separation” we experienced from God eons ago. God did not create this world they said, the EGO mind created it within the larger mind of God, the ego being symbolic of the desire to be individual and apart from God which is, as they implied, “impossible”. This of course suggests that the universe is an illusion and that we never really left God at all. We are simply having a collective ego nightmare for which God is in the process of gently waking us up.
Well, this was a bit much for me to digest as you can imagine. After years of believing that God did create the universe and that perhaps just the Earth was screwed up, and that God was just “testing “ us to see how well we would make use of our gift of free will, well, all that was now shattered. I could not negate what I experienced directly in favor of an old belief for which I had no backing.
Take this all in as you will, it is my own experience and I am not asking anyone to invest in it. My motive is to just share that perhaps you may find a nugget of truth for your self.
Onward we go, pealing off layers of illusion. Freedom is my goal, and Love is my guide……..
Jeffe
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Oregon
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Re: Direct Experience
Wed, November 15, 2006 - 5:15 AMThanks for being bold and true. All your words resonated with me. I too picked up the DU book as soon as I heard about it. I seiously got off the phone with who I was talking with called the store she got hers and drove stright there to get their last copy--perfect scarcity. I also could not put it down and my view of the universe is irreversibly and thankfully altered as a result. About 5 of us started a book group, just reading it together again and stopping to digerst every so often, which was a lot, because it is so packed with reminders--the kind we like to forget as soon as we read them.
Anyway, I was thinking that you should write your own book, as I was receiving a lot from your message regarding your medicinal experience. I too have experimented with various tools and have found that bringing my new conscience to the experience can be very fortifying. Although it can be challenging to create the most supportive environment in which to explore. I believe people who can do this and release the guilt and fear of this universe are real pioneers of the spirit, it they can remember these medicines are merely a tool to access innate knowledge. Perhaps after a time, one doesn't need the tool to access it, but it is good to have a guidebook that clearly describes someones process so that another may feel more comfortable about releasing their guilt around the experience.
I have called the processing of shadow fears that you so clearly described as "reprogramming" my ego self. This seemingly simple act has changed my life enormously. More later.
Thanks brother,
Ephraim
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Re: Direct Experience
Tue, March 20, 2007 - 7:20 PMHi Jeffe,
Enjoyed reading your Direct Experience, and it made a lot of what I have read in ACIM understandable. It clearly states in the book that yes we are in a dream in which we need awakening from, gently so. That we are co-creators with God. I always wonder what it was we had created. Obviously the material universe or present world. We can elevate everything though love, but instead we (though our egos) decided to be in competition with God over our creations. We can through Will and Love dissolve the illusion of competition and change everything around us. Huh...thanks for the insight.
TJ
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Re: Direct Experience
Sun, April 15, 2007 - 9:34 PMI really appreciated your post, I first found "The Disappearance of the Universe" and found it to be a very similiar experience, like the book was written just to me, well after checking out
ACIM in my library I found it to be pretty complicated, like when I read the bible for the first time ( I grew up studying it voluntarily in secret) at ten. I put it off because the it was like the underlying fear was about to consume me, everything I new of the world to be dispelled, i was not ready, i felt like a failure remember the Disappearance book predicted many would not be ready, but now I came back around to it, Ive always had this feeling that God was leading me at just the right pace even among all my own resistence, this time, it was not even like reading a book but more like listening and taking mental notes, very fluid, I felt fear this time too, my mind telling me that I didnt know what I am getting myself into, I felt really shook up, was this some conspiracy, so your post I found very comforting, but it in just the right context and now I can take it head on, i cant believe how it just moves so quickly after that, thanks.
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Re: Direct Experience
Mon, April 16, 2007 - 11:09 AMJeffe,
I started studying (off and on) A Course in Miracles in 1987. When I heard about Disappearance of the Universe I just thought it was another fluff peice. I didn't even look at it until last month when I was in the bookstore, waiting on a friend and decided to read it. After that I bought it, becasue it says "God did not create the Universe" which is something I knew but had never dared say it, even to people who have read ACIM or are studying it. I never had visitors or a medicinal experience, I just have memories that make no sense to anyone else.
I think you could write a very interesting book yourself. Thanks for the sharing.
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Re: Direct Experience
Thu, July 26, 2007 - 11:37 AMJeffe wrote: This of course suggests that the universe is an illusion and that we never really left God at all. We are simply having a collective ego nightmare for which God is in the process of gently waking us up.
I came to this realization also after experiencing a without my body experience years ago, as I was leaving that state to return to the world as we know it. Then, while doing A Course in Miracles after having had that realization I found the course reaffirms the idea that our physical world is a collective dream we are having. I prefer dream to nightmare, because this life can be quite enjoyable, but a dream nevertheless, and those of us who start to awaken must patiently wait till all are ready to wake up, and then humanity as a whole can leave the collective dream and experience our true state of being. Some are doing more than just patiently waiting. Trying to help others to come closer to waking up. I wonder if this helps much? Or are people not going to get it until they have a similar experience for themselves?
It is interesting how the events after your journey seemed to lead to the book you mention. I've never heard of the book The Disappearance of the Universe before. I believe I will look for it now. I'd like to read it, based on the description of those of you in this thread who have read it.
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Re: Direct Experience
Thu, July 26, 2007 - 7:25 PMI hope the last post doesn't sound as if I can awaken at any time and am just waiting for all people to also wake up! Although I have seen the place of no universe, or no physical reality, I cannot at will go back there. I wish I could! So I am still searching for tools that can help and developing the abilities in myself to bring about a state of readiness in which I can hear the call to awaken, and head it.
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Re: Direct Experience
Sat, August 11, 2007 - 3:11 PMAs a drunk driver put me in a coma for 4 months!~back in '99!
I began walking after 6 yrs! The dr's told my mom I would NEVER be the same~ THEY WERE RIGHT~ I'm better!
MORE spiritually connected, guided by the universe ;)*
MORE understanding~EXCEPT for those rePUKlicans!
MORE at peace w/EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
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Re: Direct Experience
Sat, August 11, 2007 - 6:15 PMEverything? Even the 'rePuklicans'?
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Re: Direct Experience
Wed, August 15, 2007 - 11:13 AMthanks for writing this. i can very relate. also diferent medicines have changed my life profoundly...
thanks for sharing your experince, it sparks my own. ***
