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My husband is sleeping on the couch tonight after a fight, that I suppose you really could not call a fight since there was no resistance in me. I realized tonight in a very concrete way that I can't force anyone to let go of their fear. It didn't really dawn on me that that's what I had been trying to do. I was open and in surrender, but, through wanting him to join me there, I was holding onto an expectation of something he couldn't be. He wanted to invest in an ego response and he wanted an excuse to build walls. And I just realized that it was okay, that it didn't need to have any impact on me whatsoever, that I could say "No" without any emotioanl resistance. It was such a freeing experience. I am really seeing the need to be an example of love, instead of trying to drag everyone up by their boot straps kicking and screaming. It's amusing to me that he's sleeping on the couch when he could be, bluntly, making love to me right now. I'm happy. How strange.
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California
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Re: Breaking Through
Fri, July 20, 2007 - 6:00 AMIt is humorous. You know this is another example
of "Fear is never justified." Your "no" is "no" and your
"yes" is "yes." No or Yes can be a complete sentence
requiring no additional commentary, no logic, no
justification. To my thinking ACIM helps give us a
rationale to say "yes" to life in a very large way.
Here's the hook-- to say yes to one thing often means
no to something else. The good news is, we don't have
to justify or loving choices. If others choose not to
participate in our love (and the bottom line is it really
isn't ours) that's their choice. A sad choice, but theirs.
Chapter 18's section on dreaming happy dreams speaks
to when one brother or sister in relationship can hold the
vision for the other . But there can never be any force involved.
Frankly, I'd rather be making love rather than fear too! :-)
